Anniversary

By Mister Curie

It is roughly the one year anniversary of when I admitted to myself that I am attracted to men.  As I have documented previously, it was through a "Same Sex Attraction" post on a Mormon marital intimacy blog that I began to accept that I am gay.  The original blog has been deleted by its creator so I can't document the actual anniversary.  However, there was a companion blog where the topic was covered a week later.  The date of the post on the companion site is June 16, 2009.  As that is next week, I figure it must have been sometime this week, a year ago, that my mind first really started to wrap itself around the idea that I could be gay.

It has been a pretty crazy year.  In remembering this anniversary, I realize that I've been rewriting history a bit inappropriately.  I have always stated that I couldn't accept that I was gay while I was a believing Mormon, however I now realize that isn't entirely correct.  A year ago I was a true-believing Mormon, and a year ago I admitted to myself that I am attracted to men.  I talked to my wife about it and then largely put the knowledge on a shelf.  A little over two months later, my wife told me that she no longer believed in the church and my process toward becoming a disaffected member of the church began.  Then, approximately two months later, I took the gay thing off the shelf and started to examine it a bit more.  I guess it makes sense why I get the chronology confused.