Mixed Orientation Marriage Research Announcement

I previously posted an announcement about this research, but it looks like the study has officially been approved and is now recruiting participants.  I would participate, but have only been out to my spouse for just over 2 years, maybe if more participants are still needed next year around this time! I'd definitely encourage people to participate though, as it would be great to have more research out there about how to have a successful MOM. Looks like this study is using the 3 year cut-off for being out to a spouse to ensure that the couple is more likely to stay together for the long term, or at least has been able to successfully navigate the initial rocky post-disclosure period.

Here is the latest research announcement that I received:

Hello Andy,


I am a doctoral student of Human Development and Family Studies at Iowa State University. I am doing my dissertation research on commitment in mixed-orientation relationships (non-heterosexual man partnered with a heterosexual woman). This study has been approved by the university’s Institutional Review Board (IRB) for the protection of human subjects. Please pass this along to anyone who may be interested.

Participants qualify IF:
• The male experiences same-sex attractions or behavior, regardless of self-identification.
• The female identifies as straight or heterosexual.
• The non-heterosexuality of the male has been acknowledged between the couple for at least three years.
• The couple is in a committed intimate relationship, legally recognized or not.
• Both partners are willing to be interviewed.

The couple need not be in a sexually monogamous relationship, but they should identify each other as their primary partner. Participants may come from any state within the United States.

Participants will be asked to sign an informed consent document and to complete a short demographic questionnaire. I plan to interview the couple together once and each partner individually once. Most interviews will be held by phone or by Skype. If participants live within the state of Iowa, interviews may be held in person, if possible. Interviews will last approximately 60 minutes. After I have completed my interviews, participants will be invited to review a preliminary analysis of the results and to provide feedback if they wish.

Participant identity will be kept strictly confidential. Digital transcripts will be kept in password-protected computer files. Printed transcripts and completed demographic questionnaires will be kept in a locked file cabinet in my office until the end of the study. Audio recordings will be deleted after transcription. Pseudonyms will be assigned to participants on the transcripts.

Those interested in participating in the study can contact me by email at kevinz@iastate.edu or by phone at 515-441-9397. To ensure participant confidentiality, respondents should indicate how they wish to be contacted.

Thank you for your time!

Kevin Zimmerman
Doctoral Candidate
Department of Human Development & Family Studies
Iowa State University

More MOM Research

By Mister Curie

Mormons for Marriage had an interesting post that I saw this morning on mixed-orientation marriages.  Apparently the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy has recently published a review of the research that has been performed on mixed-orientation marriages over the past 20 years.  The post is an interesting read and the actual article even more so.

From the article's discussion, which I thought was a pretty apt description:

Mixed-orientation marriages are fraught with complexity, as reported in quantitative, qualitative, and case study research. Gay, bisexual, and lesbian spouses must manage homoerotic feelings or activities while maintaining their marriage and considering the needs of their straight spouse. Pressure from within is described in these data as arising from tension between societal expectations, love for spouse, and same-sex attraction; fear of losing one’s family; developing a  cogent sense of self while compartmentalizing feelings and behaviors; dealing with ambiguity about one’s sexual identity across contexts; and being able to live intentionally and with integrity. Renegotiation of sexuality within marriage is a challenge for both partners in MOM, as is finding a network that accepts and supports both the individuals and couple as a whole. Friendship and love between spouses, along with shared children, led to family life and community integration. These were reported to deter couples from separating and to enhance their general life satisfaction.

And regarding the wives in a MOM:

Straight women in MOM experienced an array of responses after their husband’s coming out, ranging from outrage to relief. Such women’s experiences were often conceptualized in terms of loss, shock, and sadness. Responses included isolating themselves, feeling humiliated, seeking counseling, and attempting to renegotiate or dissolve their marriage. Many women sought counseling to reorganize their feelings and thoughts about their marriages. Sexual practices in marriages that endured included monogamy, celibacy, menage a` trois, open marriage, and variations on an agreement not to discuss extramarital sexual activity.

Research on Committment within Mixed-Orientation Marriages

By Mister Curie

I received an interesting comment on a post the other day from a former Mormon graduate student doing a study on commitment in Mixed-Orientation Marriages.  He is looking for couples to interview about their Mixed-Orientation marriages.  Unfortunately I do not currently qualify for the study because I have not been out to my wife for two years yet.  However, if any of my readers qualify for the study and are interested, I would encourage you to contact him and to participate in the study.  I think the results of the study could be very interesting and useful to others in MOMs, therapists working with people in MOMs, etc.

Here is copy of the comment for those interested:

I am a graduate student of family studies at Iowa State University. I am doing my dissertation research on commitment in mixed-orientation relationships (gay or bisexual man partnered with a woman). Earlier research has reported that there are approximately two million mixed-orientation marriages in the U.S. and that 15% of these marriages continue past 3 years. 

Participants qualify IF:

• The male identifies as anything but heterosexual, including homosexual, gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual, and so on.
• The non-heterosexuality of the male has been acknowledged between the couple for at least two years.
• The couple is in a committed intimate relationship, legally recognized or not.
• Both partners are willing to be interviewed.

The female partner may be of any sexual orientation. The couple need not be in a sexually monogamous relationship, but they should identify each other as their primary partner.

I plan to interview each partner individually at least once, and the couple together at least once, by phone or Skype. Interviews will last approximately 60 minutes. Participant identity will be kept confidential.

Those interested in participating in the study can contact me by email at kevinz@iastate.edu or by phone at 515-441-9397.

I've seen your blog before and hope you'll be willing to participate, and to pass the announcement along to anyone who may be interested. My wife and I also married as Mormons, although I'm atheist now as well. 

Thank you for your time!

Kevin Zimmerman
Graduate Student
Department of Human Development & Family Studies
Iowa State University