Saturday, June 12, 2010


By Mister Curie

It is roughly the one year anniversary of when I admitted to myself that I am attracted to men.  As I have documented previously, it was through a "Same Sex Attraction" post on a Mormon marital intimacy blog that I began to accept that I am gay.  The original blog has been deleted by its creator so I can't document the actual anniversary.  However, there was a companion blog where the topic was covered a week later.  The date of the post on the companion site is June 16, 2009.  As that is next week, I figure it must have been sometime this week, a year ago, that my mind first really started to wrap itself around the idea that I could be gay.

It has been a pretty crazy year.  In remembering this anniversary, I realize that I've been rewriting history a bit inappropriately.  I have always stated that I couldn't accept that I was gay while I was a believing Mormon, however I now realize that isn't entirely correct.  A year ago I was a true-believing Mormon, and a year ago I admitted to myself that I am attracted to men.  I talked to my wife about it and then largely put the knowledge on a shelf.  A little over two months later, my wife told me that she no longer believed in the church and my process toward becoming a disaffected member of the church began.  Then, approximately two months later, I took the gay thing off the shelf and started to examine it a bit more.  I guess it makes sense why I get the chronology confused.


  1. Well, I'm going to be honest, had I not lost faith in the church, I would still be repressed as I couldn't allow myself to have an "alternative" sexuality that would bring so much pain to someone who is a TBM.

    Congratulations on your 1-year.

  2. Congrats on the one year anniversary. Yet again we seem to be on the same page. It is difficult to accept gay and Mormon together. They make a difficult duo. As far as the chronology goes I get it all muddled too. Kind of difficult when both things happen at once (disaffection and coming out). I am beginning to think that getting the time-line down and organized is not really all that important anyway. :)

  3. Congrats!

    You may have discussed this on your blog elsewhere or have not mentioned in for any number of reasons, but what is your approach to the spiritual nurturing of your child?

    Our children are all active believers but are remarkably tolerant and liberal. Some of that's genetic, I suppose, and we've always made a tradition of robust dinner table and after dinner conversations, even when they were very young. As a result, our formal family home evenings have been spotty at best, mainly because when we're together we're talking and bonding and organically doing what FHE is supposed to ritualize. How's that for a justification/rationalization? :D

    I'm just curious about the approach you and Madam Curie are taking, if you would care to share.

  4. Congratulations on the anniversary. Here's to milestones!!