By Mister Curie
It is roughly the one year anniversary of when I admitted to myself that I am attracted to men. As I have documented previously, it was through a "Same Sex Attraction" post on a Mormon marital intimacy blog that I began to accept that I am gay. The original blog has been deleted by its creator so I can't document the actual anniversary. However, there was a companion blog where the topic was covered a week later. The date of the post on the companion site is June 16, 2009. As that is next week, I figure it must have been sometime this week, a year ago, that my mind first really started to wrap itself around the idea that I could be gay.
It has been a pretty crazy year. In remembering this anniversary, I realize that I've been rewriting history a bit inappropriately. I have always stated that I couldn't accept that I was gay while I was a believing Mormon, however I now realize that isn't entirely correct. A year ago I was a true-believing Mormon, and a year ago I admitted to myself that I am attracted to men. I talked to my wife about it and then largely put the knowledge on a shelf. A little over two months later, my wife told me that she no longer believed in the church and my process toward becoming a disaffected member of the church began. Then, approximately two months later, I took the gay thing off the shelf and started to examine it a bit more. I guess it makes sense why I get the chronology confused.