By Mister Curie
I previously blogged about coming out to my family about my disaffection and/or my homosexuality. Horizon? We are now scheduled to visit my family at the end of the month, so the questions of whether or not to come out and whether to come out about both or a single issue (and which, if just a single issue) are looming larger. Reading over my pros and cons from the first time I blogged about this question, it is a bit humorous to see some of my thoughts. I think I have gotten somewhat more comfortable about both my disaffection and my homosexuality, although I'm sure there is still room to go. I think the main reason for coming out is so that we can be ourselves without worrying about someone finding out our secrets. We want to be able to not hide who we are. Of course, we also want to be accepted for where we are on our journey, but its much harder to ensure acceptance when coming out. And, as I recently posted, there is fear that we will lose support and love from those we love most.
We have gone back and forth over the different scenarios and options, considering everything from completely closeting ourselves and putting back on our garments for the visit to straight-forwardly announcing the news of our disaffection and homosexuality. I think we have decided on a middle-ground and will view this trip as laying the groundwork for a future "coming out". The current plan is to remain true to ourselves, but without attempting to challenge their belief system. So we will not be putting back on our garments, but we will wear temple-garment compatible clothing in their presence (this one is hardest for Madame Curie who would love to enjoy the summer visit in a tank-top and is loathe to put on a regular T-shirt). We will also avoid Word of Wisdom infractions in their presence, although I suspect there will be several clandestine visits to Starbucks while we are there. However, if we are questioned about our underwear or our unorthodoxy, we will admit to current questions and struggles. If we are asked a direct question, we will respond with as direct an answer. They also know that Madame Curie is planning on attending the Sunstone conference, but we aren't sure if they know what Sunstone is or not. Thus, we do not have plans to formally come out about our disaffection, but recognize that it is a distinct possibility that we may be questioned while we are there. It is less likely that there will be any questioning as to my sexual orientation, but as our marital relationship remains intact, there isn't a pressing need for them to know about it.
What do you think? Are we kidding ourselves and should be more formally prepared for a coming out about our disaffection during the visit? Are we just delaying the inevitable and making things worse? Do you think we are just chickening out because the visit is getting so close and we are responding to our fear of potential loss?
4 days ago