By Mister Curie
My aunt and uncle are coming to visit for a couple of days. They will be here this afternoon. I was up last night trying to rid the house of evidence of our lack of orthopraxy. I'm leaving the Mormon History books on the shelves (but I took off the LGBT-themed ones), and I've boxed up the coffee machine and the espresso maker, as well as the boxes of tea. This morning I remembered that the user's manuals for the coffee maker were in the utensil drawer, and I moved those too, but now I feel nervous that there is some other "evidence" lying around that I've missed. This feels wrong. It has been very freeing to be on the East Coast far away from family to allow my "apostasy" to flourish and to stop worrying so much what others think. It doesn't feel right to be forcing myself back into the closet in my own home. I shouldn't feel such social pressure to conform. Yet, I'm not sure what to do. I don't think I want my parents finding out about my loss of faith through my aunt and uncle. I want to find a more appropriate way for them to find out. This is frustrating.
I feel like I'm in one of those dramatic scenes of a movie when the protagonist suddenly has an "aha!" moment and realizes that this is really messed up (cue epiphany music). That, or I'm in a comedy and I'm going to be nervously grabbing offending materials trying to hide it as they visit us in our home, inevitably leading to a huge blow-up once they make the discovery, hopefully there is a "feel good" ending.
4 days ago