So Abelard Enigma recently discussed the phenomenon he calls "Gay Pon-Farr", which is similar to the Vulcan mating cycle when the gay man's "brain is thrown into a neurochemical imbalance and loss of logic and emotional control, similar to musth in bull elephants. The individual may stop eating and sleeping. As the condition progresses, the Vulcan undergoes the plak tow, or blood fever, and becomes unable to speak or think clearly - thoughts of mating overwhelm them."
I don't think I've experienced the gay Pon-Farr yet, but sometimes a MoHo will post a particular photo that I think almost throws me into one, like this one from Beloved Boyd of Hayden:
The best way I deal with it is to write some PG-13 fiction or some poetry. I mean, if I'm gonna think about some guy for an extended amount of time, might as well do something with his presence and build a story around it, eh?
ReplyDeleteIm still trying to cope with the Gay Pon-Farr, but haven't found anything but good friends that really help. Good thing I am stuck in a place where mating is pretty much off limits (for now). Its forced me to live with this, but I am pretty sure there are other ways to cope that are different for each person... I'm just at a loss. I must admit though, I think the blood fever has started settling in.
ReplyDeleteDuh, find a boy toy and make out with him! LOL
ReplyDeleteHa, my way (though it's not nearly so strong lately): text friends or whisper to the person I was with to get it out in the open and vent and make light of it. Of course, I had to be careful: I got a response once from a friend who claimed I only texted him when I was turned on at the gym. I decided that should probably change. :-)
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, enjoy the horniness, appreciate beauty without eye-raping, laugh at yourself, don't entertain "what ifs" or objectify someone into your own personal sex fantasy, and take the sexual energy back to your wife, if she'll accept it *wink*.
I've just enjoyed the ride, expressed it (within reason and trying not to annoy) to trusted friends, tried to respect people--and bridle my passions--by not fantasizing about them, and reminded myself not to get frustrated because I was the one choosing not to pursue anything and truly didn't want to just fool around. It's fun: no need to make it a nail-biting experience. :-)
Mr. C knows that I am always ready and willing to "finish" the process, even when cute male ice skaters start it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the suggestions. I appreciate the ideas. In general, do gay MoHos in MOMs find that making love to their wives reduces the Pon-Farr? What about masturbation? Does that decrease the Pon-Farr or intensify it?
ReplyDeleteWhat O-Mo said.
ReplyDeleteRide the wave. Don't fight it.
And yes, a release of the pent-up sexual energy--either with my wife or on my own--makes it easier.
But for me it's not as much a surge in horniness (though that's a part of it) as it is an increase in "loneliness"--a desire for companionship and emotional connection. So in some ways a good hug (tight embrace, more than just a couple of seconds) is even better than sex (with my wife) or masturbation, and I've just discovered cuddling as an excellent salve as well.