Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Suggestions Sought: Pon-Farr

By Mister Curie

So Abelard Enigma recently discussed the phenomenon he calls "Gay Pon-Farr", which is similar to the Vulcan mating cycle when the gay man's "brain is thrown into a neurochemical imbalance and loss of logic and emotional control, similar to musth in bull elephants. The individual may stop eating and sleeping. As the condition progresses, the Vulcan undergoes the plak tow, or blood fever, and becomes unable to speak or think clearly - thoughts of mating overwhelm them."

I don't think I've experienced the gay Pon-Farr yet, but sometimes a MoHo will post a particular photo that I think almost throws me into one, like this one from Beloved Boyd of Hayden:

Or there was last night watching the pairs figure skating at the Olympics.  Anyways, with my realization that I posted about yesterday that suddenly I am noticing the many attractive men around me as my "eyes have been opened", I figure it is better to be prepared for when the gay Pon-Farr comes, rather than be caught unawares and do something stupid.  So, what are your coping strategies?  What do you do to make it through Pon-Farr?  What do you think is acceptable?


  1. The best way I deal with it is to write some PG-13 fiction or some poetry. I mean, if I'm gonna think about some guy for an extended amount of time, might as well do something with his presence and build a story around it, eh?

  2. Im still trying to cope with the Gay Pon-Farr, but haven't found anything but good friends that really help. Good thing I am stuck in a place where mating is pretty much off limits (for now). Its forced me to live with this, but I am pretty sure there are other ways to cope that are different for each person... I'm just at a loss. I must admit though, I think the blood fever has started settling in.

  3. Duh, find a boy toy and make out with him! LOL

  4. Ha, my way (though it's not nearly so strong lately): text friends or whisper to the person I was with to get it out in the open and vent and make light of it. Of course, I had to be careful: I got a response once from a friend who claimed I only texted him when I was turned on at the gym. I decided that should probably change. :-)

    But seriously, enjoy the horniness, appreciate beauty without eye-raping, laugh at yourself, don't entertain "what ifs" or objectify someone into your own personal sex fantasy, and take the sexual energy back to your wife, if she'll accept it *wink*.

    I've just enjoyed the ride, expressed it (within reason and trying not to annoy) to trusted friends, tried to respect people--and bridle my passions--by not fantasizing about them, and reminded myself not to get frustrated because I was the one choosing not to pursue anything and truly didn't want to just fool around. It's fun: no need to make it a nail-biting experience. :-)

  5. Mr. C knows that I am always ready and willing to "finish" the process, even when cute male ice skaters start it.

  6. Thanks for the suggestions. I appreciate the ideas. In general, do gay MoHos in MOMs find that making love to their wives reduces the Pon-Farr? What about masturbation? Does that decrease the Pon-Farr or intensify it?

  7. What O-Mo said.

    Ride the wave. Don't fight it.

    And yes, a release of the pent-up sexual energy--either with my wife or on my own--makes it easier.

    But for me it's not as much a surge in horniness (though that's a part of it) as it is an increase in "loneliness"--a desire for companionship and emotional connection. So in some ways a good hug (tight embrace, more than just a couple of seconds) is even better than sex (with my wife) or masturbation, and I've just discovered cuddling as an excellent salve as well.